
Me and my son
(August 13, 2004, Uralsk, Kazakhstan)
Photo by my wife
You wanna destroy the world? Do something loving.
No, really.
The world as it was up until that point will cease to exist. It will be replaced with something entirely new and amazing.
I loved someone once (among other times). He didn't like me very much the first day, but I was actually prepared for that. The photo you see above was taken the second day, when the two of us finally made eye contact and more or less agreed to put up with each other for the duration.
The result five years down the road is a dynamic, constant, mutual exchange of devotion and growth, frustration and resolution, communication and joy. I'm not sure which one of us has been transformed by it more. Fatherhood is a fascinating beast. Sure, Alex is not the little boy he was when we adopted him. But then again, I'm not the man I was when I landed in Kazakhstan to meet him. The world I knew ceased to exist that day.
Love changes everything. It is a radical, transforming, impenetrable, monolithic, violent, dangerous, unpredictable, radioactive fire of a billion suns. You get a choice: either learn to direct it well as it destroys what is wrong, or you will unintentionally destroy others by it, or you will be destroyed by it.
This Christmas, how will your love destroy the old world? I wonder what the new one that replaces it will look like.
You have your assignment. Go!
This post is now part of Bridget Chumbley's
One Word at a Time Blog Carnival: Love
December 28, 2009
It is continued in part two...
One Word at a Time Blog Carnival: Love
December 28, 2009
It is continued in part two...
Candace Sargent · 791 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 791 weeks ago
But Nestea? Well, it's ok in desperation, but I'm sure I could do better. :)
(Admittedly, Diet Peach Snapple is a bit of a vice, I suppose. Ooooh, I'm such a renegade!)
Candace Sargent · 791 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 791 weeks ago
Yeah, I vaguely remember the Nestea commercials. I was around in the 70s, watching the Muppet Show, and also M.A.S.H. and Star Trek in syndication.
Kelly Combs · 791 weeks ago
Merry Christmas to you & yours.
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 791 weeks ago
I gotta admit that for those days when I'm a SAHD, blogs from you and your crowd are lifesavers, too!
Stretch Mark Mama · 791 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 791 weeks ago
Vanity of Vanities! · 790 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 790 weeks ago
And wow...I just bounced over to your blog and read your testimony. Holy mackerel. I thought I had a tumultuous childhood because my parents made me go to bed at 8pm until I was 12.
By the way, the Shakespearean reference you make is the first thing I thought of when I found out what the blogword of the day was (but I'd already written this). I wouldn't know that sonnet except for Emma Thompson in "Sense and Sensibility." I love that scene. :)
And as I was thinking about it earlier today, it struck me likewise that it's pretty much a precise retelling of 1 Cor 13. It "looks on tempests and is not shaken." In other words, "love never fails."
I love love. I mean, not idolatrously. I'm just very glad that it exists. (I suppose it didn't have much of a choice. It's a natural outpouring of the identity of the Divine.)
Our in-depth story of our journey to Kazakhstan was posted publicly at http://jeffholton.com/alex. Feel free to check it out.
Bridget · 790 weeks ago
What a wonderful story, thanks for sharing, Jeff.
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 790 weeks ago
Under the circumstances, I'd say your impromptu, unexpected hostage [that's a word I just made up, meant to rhyme with "postage"] was itself an act of love.
I received an email from Peter today, in response to a weak attempt I made to encourage him. He's missed, of course, but it's very good and proper and right that he be very close to his wife's family right now. Thanks for stepping in!
Jake · 790 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 790 weeks ago
Glynn · 790 weeks ago
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 790 weeks ago
There is some trust in that photo, I guess. It's pretty amazing. He really HAD known me for less than 24 hours, and hadn't seen very many men in his life. He was terrified of me (which we were told to expect) the first day. It usually takes two to three weeks to get over that.
This was the previous day...
http://www.jeffholton.com/baby/photos/photos-08-1...
...and yes, the reaction was specifically instigated whenever he'd look at me.
He's a fast learner.
This one was a few months ago...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4049592&...
MarniW 58p · 790 weeks ago
nAncY · 790 weeks ago
also, i like your thoughts of how Love can destroy...the dark world.
M. Louise Gallagher · 790 weeks ago
Great post.
Melinda Lancaster · 790 weeks ago
I enjoyed this post!
Jeffrey Holton 67p · 790 weeks ago
Helen 82p · 788 weeks ago
Becky · 784 weeks ago
Gotta love our stubborn Uralsk boys. Wary at first and then whole-hearted when they decide we are okay. We passed 7 years with Declan this past December and parts I remember like yesterday (or better).
I agree with your blog today - love and change the world for the better thus destroying the world we have today and replacing it with a better one. Our minister expressed a very similar idea a couple months ago and she was quoting from someone else I think. It is such a simple idea and yet such a radical one too. Scary to think about but once it is done, it seems the most natural thing in the world.
Just rambling now. Thanks for posting.
Becky - another Uralsk and WPA parent.
kelybreez · 739 weeks ago
I love adoption stories... My sister is adopted, and I can't imagine life without her. And many of my friends have adopted children... It's such an amazing thing to me, to know that someone's life has been rescued.
So happy for you, and for Alex. Amazing.